NoiseDraft: Apple’s October 4 announcement

Welcome to another episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each draft the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again! There’s a big announcement by Apple on October 4 and people are going bananas … Continue reading NoiseDraft: Apple’s October 4 announcement

Noisedraft: Turn your name into a symbol

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again! Since our readers are busy Photoshopping away a custom 404 page for The … Continue reading Noisedraft: Turn your name into a symbol

NoiseDraft: Replacing the Lolcat

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

This week we are retiring the lolcat. Sorry to those of you who have the entire internet of lolcat pictures downloaded into your brains, but it’s time we replace the lolcat with a different animal. For the last decade the internet has been at the mercy of cute domesticated felines and we feel that it is our responsibility to liberate that internet from those cute claws. So here are our picks for animals we would use to scrub the internet of this Felis catus overload. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Replacing the Lolcat”

NoiseDraft: Places we could have as our home theater

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

Killer home theater setups are a dream for almost every geek. Layfolk may call it a man cave but we like to call it a bucket full of awesome. Guy and girl geeks alike have dreams of the perfect home theater. Some have even set one up for a friend or a relative. Just ask Marian. But what if money was no object and fiction could become a reality? What would be your ideal home theater? Would it be Dr. Evil’s moon base? An IMAX theater? A 50s drive-up cinema? We have our picks right after the jump! Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Places we could have as our home theater”

NoiseDraft: Things we would not want to be labeled as fanboys/fangirls of

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

Fanboyism has been around for as long as competition has existed. You can’t get away from it no matter how hard you try to avoid it. Sometimes you are labeled as a fanboy because you said, or didn’t say, something. It’s a rabid phenomenon that can mar friendships, destroy marriages, or even drive a person to murder. Luckily for geeks the degree of fanboyism rarely exceeds the heated internet banter level (except for WoW players, they’re fucking crazy). However, there are a few topics that some of us feel we would not want to be labeled as fanboys or fangirls of. Whether they be detrimental to social life or are things that guarantee a foreveralone life, here’s our picks for this week! Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Things we would not want to be labeled as fanboys/fangirls of”

NoiseDraft: Villains who would make terrible domestic partners

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

Admit it, there’s some evil villains out there that you’d more than happy take on as your domestic partner. They may be bad, they may be egomaniacs, but you may see a sweeter side to their madness. Don’t tell me that you wouldn’t consider Xenia Onatopp or Detective Alonzo Harris to be your significant other! But, for all those baddies that may make for good partners, there’s just as many evil geniuses who would be terrible, absolutely terrible, to co-habit with! Here’s our picks for villains we would definitely not want to share our bed with. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Villains who would make terrible domestic partners”

NoiseDraft: Tech we’d integrate into our clothes

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

This week we’re gadgetizing up our gear by thinking of cool and exciting technology that we would like to see in our clothes of tomorrow. Tron Guy? So passé. The future threads of tomorrow are right here in this post! Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Tech we’d integrate into our clothes”

NoiseDraft: Regrettable extra options for a new vehicle

The Mercedes-Benz AIRSCARF

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

There’s some pretty crazy and downright silly extra options you can add to your purchase of a new vehicle. Got a Lotus Elise that has a trunk space the size of a duffel bag? Make sure it has an interior emergency release latch, just in case someone the size of a garden gnome gets trapped inside! Don’t know how to parallel park? Grab one of the many parking guidance systems offered in most cars today! There’s plenty of options out there that are more or less justifying that people are distracting themselves with way too many things while driving. Here’s our list of vehicle extra options that some people might give second thoughts about having. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Regrettable extra options for a new vehicle”

NoiseDraft: Best and worst things to put in a time capsule

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

Did you ever create a time capsule as a kid? You take an empty coffee can or a jar, put stuff in it that are sentimental to you or are unique for your time period, seal it up, bury it in your back yard, and open it many years later? I never did, but I do remember in fourth grade they made us write a letter to ourselves. I talked about how insanely awesome I was, how I had all the fourth grade bitches in my black book, how Bobby Stephens pissed his pants in class, and how the best invention ever was the TalkBoy FX. I also wrote in stuff that I hoped my future self would do and be like, such as make millions in the stock market and be part of a drunken tech blog. In eighth grade our teachers passed out our “time capsule” letters since my school went from fourth to eighth grade. I cried in class and pissed my pants after reading it an realizing that I was no longer the cool kid I was four years prior and my hopes and dreams had been crushed as I had hit puberty. On that note, here’s the best and worst things we believe should be put in a time capsule. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Best and worst things to put in a time capsule”

NoiseDraft: Gadgets we’d sell a kidney for

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

For some people, a kidney is worth an iPad 2. We tend to disagree. In the Philippines, an the average kidney street price is about $3,000-$7,000 which can buy you quite a few iPad 2s. And if your a black market kidney reseller, then you can rake in about $85,000 for a kidney. Since we at the Noisecast are business savvy enough to know what kind of paper we can get for our kidney, we decided to settle for some items that are a little more resilient in value than just an iPad 2. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Gadgets we’d sell a kidney for”

NoiseDraft: Terrible ideas for a video game

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

There’s a lot of good video games that have been coming out recently. A bit too many good games if you ask me. We have a feeling that the creativity well might run dry for developer soon, as it has with Hollywood. Unfortunately, this means that crappy video games are on the way. In order to help out the dev community, we decided to come up with a list of ideas that should never ever be made into a video game. You know, just to help point game devs in the right direction and all. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Terrible ideas for a video game”

NoiseDraft: Tech we’d bring back from the dead

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

Since it was Rapture week and we all were going to die, we decided to bring some tech back from the afterlife. Of course, we’re not dead and hopefully neither are you. But if you are dead and reading this, would you mind granting our wishes and telling the big Jobso up in the sky to send these tech pieces back to earth for a second coming? Thanks. Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Tech we’d bring back from the dead”

NoiseDraft: Tech executives we’d bone to repopulate the planet with

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

This week we’re letting our loins do the talking. There’s a lot of successful executives out there in the tech sector, each with different qualities and characteristics that makes them so successful. Take a trip back to Survival Week and put yourself in this situation: the threat to humanity has been eliminated but not without a major toll on the human race. Only two people have survived, you and a certain tech executive. Your mission is simple. You two must repopulate the world and keep the human race alive! Who do you choose to be your Eve to your Adam, or Adam to your Eve, or Adam to your Adam? Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Tech executives we’d bone to repopulate the planet with”

NoiseDraft: Terrible ideas for a cloud service

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

In light of recent events, we’re taking on The Cloud this week. It seems like everything is being moved to the cloud nowadays. Here at the Noisecast, we feel that there are certain things that should be kept on the ground. Hit the break for our picks! Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Terrible ideas for a cloud service”

NoiseDraft: Tech we’d banish from existence

Welcome to the very first weekly NoiseDraft! We get bored pretty easily here at The Noisecast which usually leads to a violent atmosphere of drunkenly berating each other. In order to make things a bit friendlier, we’re going to be doing a weekly mock draft whose topics can be as serious as they are loony. For those unfamiliar with a mock draft, think of it like selecting teams back on the playground in grade school. You’d have two captains and a group of kids and each captain would pick people for their team, one by one. The same basic concept applies here, except that there are more than just two captains. Most of the Noisecast staff is participating so each week there is a new topic and a new selection order. Once a selection is made, it cannot be re-selected by another person.

Each week the topic and the selection order will be different. Feel free to email us topic suggestions and feel free to continue the draft in the comments below. Remember, you can’t pick something someone else has already chosen! So here’s the list of picks for the very first ever Noisecast mock draft, tech we’d banish from existence! Continue reading “NoiseDraft: Tech we’d banish from existence”