NoiseDraft: Tech we’d bring back from the dead

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!

Since it was Rapture week and we all were going to die, we decided to bring some tech back from the afterlife. Of course, we’re not dead and hopefully neither are you. But if you are dead and reading this, would you mind granting our wishes and telling the big Jobso up in the sky to send these tech pieces back to earth for a second coming? Thanks.

1. Agrippa – The Trebuchet

Somehow I think a drive-by siege in the hood between gangs would make for terribly entertaining (if somewhat more polite?) evening news.

2. Ron – The Space Shuttle

Too soon?

3. Kevlar – Deadly Cars

You know what I mean, the kind of car that doesn’t protect you when you forget how to drive. No cruise control. Steel that crushes however it damn well feels like, whether or not it sends sharp corners into you and your passengers. You should have put that burger down and paid attention.

4. Steven – Illuminated Tires

Goodyear was way ahead of its time when it introduced the illuminated tires in 1961. People do all sorts of crazy things these days to pimp their rides, including under-body lights, LEDs on the tires, and more. How badass would you be if you were rolling down Michigan Avenue in your Chrysler 300 with a set of these babies on? Lil Jon, Ludacris, and other rappers would spend a fortune for this stuff. Just make sure that you don’t put actual light bulbs inside the tires like Goodyear did.

Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!