Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!
There’s some pretty crazy and downright silly extra options you can add to your purchase of a new vehicle. Got a Lotus Elise that has a trunk space the size of a duffel bag? Make sure it has an interior emergency release latch, just in case someone the size of a garden gnome gets trapped inside! Don’t know how to parallel park? Grab one of the many parking guidance systems offered in most cars today! There’s plenty of options out there that are more or less justifying that people are distracting themselves with way too many things while driving. Here’s our list of vehicle extra options that some people might give second thoughts about having.
1. Agrippa
Windshield video screen for hands-free video calls through FaceTime. Now you can look right into the face of the person you’re talking to while you drive.
2. Ben
Open bar.
3. Kevlar
Allowing women to drive. (Editor’s note: the Noisecast does not condone this opinion.)
4. Steven
Multifunction programmable comfort seats with built-in bidets.
5. Gonzo
Joystick based steering.
Deployable cow-catcher. Great for getting through traffic.
Ejector seats.
Oh, wait. Are we supposed to list things we *don’t* want?
Ejector seats.
Oh, wait. Are we supposed to list things we *don’t* want?
I don’t know… that Joystick is pretty sweet. And the facetime also sounds kinda slick. It would need to be two joysticks though since you have a limited plain of movement compared to a plane.
Is that airscarf actually a thing?