Welcome to another weekly episode of the NoiseDraft, a completely made up mock draft for your reading pleasure. Each week the topic changes and each week the selection order changes. Feel free to continue the draft in the comments below! Just remember, once something has been chosen, you can’t choose it again!
This week we are retiring the lolcat. Sorry to those of you who have the entire internet of lolcat pictures downloaded into your brains, but it’s time we replace the lolcat with a different animal. For the last decade the internet has been at the mercy of cute domesticated felines and we feel that it is our responsibility to liberate that internet from those cute claws. So here are our picks for animals we would use to scrub the internet of this Felis catus overload.
1. Agrippa – LOLWOMBAT
It is never amused by Internet shenanigans.
2. Kevlar – LOLFAT
Fat nerd pictures are everywhere, and they could use some recognition… or mocking.
3. Ben – LOLNOTHING
I fucking hate lolcats. No you cannot has cheeseburger. You are a cat and it is bad for your diet.
4. Marian – LOWL
He’s kinda like the ORLY owl, but way more joyful instead of just doubting everything.
5. Alberto – LOLDOGS
Bow-wow-wow-yippy-yo-yippy-yay. That’s why. (Honestly I was going with the LOWL; gotta be quicker next time.)
6. Steven – LOLTARDIGRADE
Because once it catches on, you’ll never ever ever be able to get rid of it.