Ron’s Going to Buy an iPhone, and You’re Going to Win a Game (maybe several games)

As you may or may not know, Ron is a bit of a fanboy hipster irrational purchase maker fuck it, we’ll go with fanboy. The man loves his Apple products almost as much as I love boobies. But since we all know that it’s completely fucking impossible to love anything as much as or more than I love boobies, that still gives him plenty of room for his shrine to Jonathan Ive’s designs and Steve Jobs’ everything else. I have it on good authority that he has a mural of Steve Jobs with angelic wings (and nothing else) painted on his bedroom wall. 

As we are all aware, there’s most likely a new iPhone being announced later today. And because of that, Mac-zombies will be forming lines outside Apple stores that could stretch from NYC to Botswana without a single break in the line. For you geography-challenged folks, Botswana is the pink one way down at the bottom of Africa, directly above South Africa. We think that Ron is gong to be somewhere around the L in “Atlantic” as he waits for his unicorn-semen-dyed iWhatever.

But there’s something else that you might not know about Ron. He likes to hold out for as long as possible just so he can say “I told you so”. We all know he’s going to get it, but it might not be on day 1 just to spite all of us at The Noisecast that don’t share his love of glowing fruit logos.

With that in mind, we decided to come up with a little contest. If the new iPhone is announced this afternoon, how long do you think it will take before Ron caves in and plops down a few Benjamins on a shiny new iPuck 4GSX*?

Here are the rules:

  1. 1 entry per person
  2. 5 entries activates the contest (as always)
  3. Closest person without going over wins their choice of 2 games from the list.
  4. If everyone goes over, the closest person wins their choice of any 1 game from the list.
  5. If you manage to get the exact date (you lucky fuck), we’ll show you how much we love you by giving you 1 of every game on the list! That’s almost $80 worth of gaming goodness for the low low price of $FREE**.
  6. Entries must be received (in my inbox) no later than 11:59 PM Eastern on Wednesday, October 5th 2011.

So go ahead and send an email to with “Ron will give in” as the subject line, and in the body of the email write the date you believe his fanboy urges will overcome his frugality and make him purchase a shiny new iReallydon’tneedthisthing.


List Of Awesome Games That You Get To Choose From

I’ve played all of these games myself (with the exception of Terraria) and I can tell you that they are all a lot of fun and definitely worth the hard drive space. So stop reading and enter the contest already. Oh, and don’t worry about Ron intentionally picking a date that isn’t covered. He won’t see any of the entries, so he’ll have no idea who picked which dates.


* The S stands for Speed, the X is for XTREEEEEM
** Must have a Steam account to receive the games. If you don’t have one, go get one. It’s free.


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4 thoughts on “Ron’s Going to Buy an iPhone, and You’re Going to Win a Game (maybe several games)”

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