Welcome back to another exciting ROUNDUP! THROW YOUR HANDS IN THE AIR AND MAKE SOME NOOOOIIIIIIIIIIIIIIISE! No? Okay, you know, whatevs and all that. Tonight we have irrelevancies, nonsenses, doo-hickies, whats-er-jiggers, stuff, and we get to see the way you and all your loved ones will die (Hint: It’s loud, has turrets, has balance, looks creepy, and you’re dead anyway so kiss your ass goodbye). Let’s go!
- BREAKING: Irrelevant Service Purchases Other Irrelevant Service.
Remember Napst… Remember Rhapso… Never mind.
- How Amazon’s New Tablet Signals The Start Of The Next Generation.
Choice quote: “What this move largely comes down to for the tablet market is Selling Hardware (Apple) vs. Selling Advertising (Google) vs. Selling Everything Else (Amazon).” I largely agree and this article is well worth the read. Amazon’s entry redraws the map not in the sense that it could shake up the house that Apple has built, far from it. It will redraw the map by helping to redefine what the tablet is to the consumer. A move that Apple started by initially defining, but lacked the actual services (yet). If Amazon is successful, we should look forward to a future where the hardware really is quite irrelevant. The message becomes the motive.
- Food for thought: Cars that read your mind? On their way.
“Look Officer. I see where you’re coming from. I know how this looks. This is the street with the highest concentration of hookers in the city and I am parked on the curb. But hear me out. My car drives itself. It reads my mind and… Officer? Sir? Those cuffs won’t be necessary. Sir? I’m being honest, the car came here itself!” – This is why I’ll masturbate BEFORE I go for a drive.
- Amazon’s Kindle 3G Has Limits.
Makes sense. AT&T can’t price gouge us and then give Kindle users unlimited joy. Especially with so many millions. Not at all surprised, and the locations make sense to me.
- Losing Money? Analyst Claims Kindle Fire Will Make $50 Per Unit.
There has been a lot of talk about Amazon losing money on every Kindle Fire, and doing so happily as a revenue driver (rather than treating the Kindle Fire as a source of revenue. Essentially the same strategy as Google and Android.) However, analysts are saying that Amazon will actually be selling The Kindle Fire at a $50 premium to manufacture. To some this means the Kindle Fire is both a revenue driver and a revenue source. I still agree with the early opinions. I expect the Kindle Fire will be easier for them to discount later. I’m not entirely sure Amazon cares that much about the revenue it specifically generates at the moment.
- I for one welcome our new robot over… OH GOD! OH GOD NO! IT’S KILLING EVERYONE! IT’S KILLING EVERYTHING! WHY DID WE BUILD THIS? WHY DOES IT HAVE TURRETS? WHOSE IDEA WAS THIS?!?
Future Live Newscast.
Learn this sound well. When next you hear it, it shall be the final refrain that sings you to your fiery slumber, you puny flesh-thing.