This Week in Fuck You: Reply to All

In fact, fuck you twice.
If you do this, fuck you.

Before we get started I want to say that yes, I do realize that it has been a while since I posted a TWIFY. I can’t just get angry about something for your amusement. I’m not a goddamn dancing monkey. And with that… we begin!

Reply to All is a great feature. It helps to when you’re communicating with multiple people so that you can send out a single message and have it simultaneously reach everyone on the list. It’s great for collaboration through email and it saves a lot of time when you want to convey one thought to a group of people. I love Reply to All.

What I don’t love is that any fucking idiot with a pulse and an email client is allowed to use it. Last week there was an email sent out by someone at my company that simply had “test” as the subject line. Nothing in the body, no details as to what the originator was attempting to test, just 4 letters in the subject line of a blank email. You would think that after so many years of having email as an integral part of our lives that people would know the difference between “Reply” and “Reply to All” and when to use each one. Unfortunately you would be incredibly wrong.

That picture up there? Yeah, that’s a shot of what my inbox looked like after I got back from lunch. 115 emails, and almost every single one of them was complaining about having their inbox filled by people hitting the Reply to All button. Really? How does that make sense? You’re doing the exact thing that you’re asking people to stop doing you drooling ape. How many cans of Krylon do you have to inhale before this seems like a viable alternative to just deleting the damned emails?

I went through them and pulled out some of my favorites. Please note that these are directly copied and pasted (with the exception of the name removal) so you can see that the idiots that click Reply to All on a gigantic distribution list are also dumb enough to fuck up your/you’re and abbreviate “please” to the tween-text-speak “pls”, which should be a surprise to absolutely no one.

  • Well depending on what your testing I would think it worked
  • May I suggest that we don’t reply to all? This is a significant list, and it will just fill up our mailboxes.
  • ONLY!!! Reply to (originator’s name). Stop spamming everyone!!! I am about to report this to Security Div.
  • Pls stop “Reply to All” emails. Thank you!
  • Could you guys only reply to the sender please. I have enough corporate spam as it is. Thank you.
  • All… Can someone stop this test, my email inbox is saturated….I am not really interested in any of this !!!!!
  • Stop – you are killing my inbox
  • It didn’t work for me… can you resend it to everyone again?
  • Is it possible for everyone to just reply versus reply all? I am quite sure this is going to hose up our mailbox storage.
  • Please do not hit reply all
  • Folks – we all know better than to use Replay to all when responding to a message that went out to a distribution list Please stop
  • You are jamming the Net work with test message!!!
  • People this is a virus do not respond at all.
  • Please discontinue further responses to this e-mail chain.
  • Why am I on distribution for this stuff? Please stop copying me on this test.
  • Not sure what your testing, but count me in!
  • Pls. don’t reply to all. Successful test.
  • Come on. This is getting out of hand. Stop replying to all.
  • I am somehow being copied on your emails and have notified the help desk.
  • Stop this virus right now STOP!!
  • Please stop copying to me.
  • PLEASE STOP COPING ALL OF US!!!!!!!!!!!!!!1
  • OK already on the test. IT WORKS.
  • What is this? Test for…………………?

Sweet backflipping Christ, you fucking clowns never cease to baffle me. Some of my favorites on the list are the 2 “virus” responses and the people complaining about storage. Firstly, I feel inclined to point out that storage in your Outlook is limited only by the amount of storage you have on your computer. So you work for a government agency and they only allow you so much space on their Outlook server because you’re a lowly contractor? There’s a way around this. It’s called a “Personal Folder” and the functionality is built right into Outlook. Make a personal folder on your local drive, create a rule in Outlook to copy all of your mail to that folder, and you’ll never have to worry about running out of space ever again. Best of all, you won’t look like a babbling retard when you say shit like this:

Is it possible for everyone to just reply versus reply all? I am quite sure this is going to hose up our mailbox storage.

Fuck you and your storage problems. They only exist because you’re an idiot, a fact you reinforced when you hit Reply to All and whined about it. Slap yourself until you understand why that’s a stupid thing to do. Even if you’re commenting about server storage and not personal storage, you just added several thousand emails to the system.

5 thoughts on “This Week in Fuck You: Reply to All

  1. You should export all the names to an excel sheet, print them out, take a day off work, and go to each office and slap them.

  2. The mental image of the swimming pool analogy is priceless. Thanks for the chuckle.

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