Noisecast Roundup 4-14-2011: Eyes made of stone

Welcome to another evening of the Nosiecast roundup with all the remaining news worth sharing to cap it off. of course, the term “cap it off” makes little sense since we¬†occasionally¬†continue to post long after the roundup is posted. The picture above is of a Mollusk. It’s called a Chiton and it is entirely covered in eyes… made of stone. Yeah. The roundup after the jump. The trailer for the new Star Trek: TNG XXX is embedded at the end of the roundup. Enjoy.

  • A mollusk whose body is covered in eyes made of stone.
    Nature has some oddities about her. This little Mollusk, called a Chiton, is covered in eyes made of stone. Not tech related, I just thought it was really cool.
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  • Microsoft confirms that IE10 won’t support Vista.
    Just as IE9 doesn’t support XP, IE10 won’t support Vista. Is this madness? Is this crazy like a fox? Is IE10 so far forward, and Windows 7 so different from Vista that IE10 won’t be able to function? Is this some ploy to force upgrades? Do they honestly thing IE is a strong enough brand to force that? So many questions, not enough crazy to make the answers seem sensible.
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  • Apple Confirms that the white iPhone 4 is coming this Spring.
    Okay, so this time the rumors were true. Would it be pessimistic to think this was all an elaborate ruse to spark even more sales at a time when the normal distribution cycle would be disrupted and there would be no immediate new iPhone on time? There may still be an iPhone 5 in June, but I don’t know, I think I’m just bored with Apple at this point.
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  • Comcast rolls out 105 Mbps ‘Extreme’ Internet service. South Koreans point and laugh at these idiot.
    Let me repeat that, the South Koreans and Singaporeans, and numerous others are pointing at our little penises and laughing maniacally. Ooh, we’re so extreme, so fast, so mighty. A whole 105 mbps! What are we going to do with all that speed? Fuck you, American Telcos. I want my 1Gbps+. This is America, we’re the greatest, the king ding-a-lings who invented the internet. I refuse to be shamed by other countries.
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  • Could Star Trek: TNG XXX be the first porn where you care about the plot?
    Someone needs to explain to these people that we don’t care about plot. If we wanted plot, we wouldn’t have sneaked behind our family member’s backs to rub one out in private, we would have gone to a theater. In their defense, the plot shown in the two minute trailer is probably every ounce of plot the hour + long film has. (Video embedded at the end of the roundup).
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  • How your appetite affects your decisions.
    Deliciously. It affects my decisions deliciously. Now how about a dine ‘n dash? Sounds like a good idea to me. I’m hungry as h-e-double-hockey-sticks.
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  • Facebook has Eclipsed Google as most popular sign-in choice.
    Oh you scurred now. aincha, Google?
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  • Google will now send Youtube copyright violators back to school… so to speak.
    Google is… well… this is all a little ridiculous, but I guess you gotta do what you gotta do. Follow the link, watch the video. etc.
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  • Apple Poaches Microsoft Exec to run its Datacenter.
    Oh you silly, naive All Things D, how can Apple “poach” anyone? People just start working there having previously not existed. Next you’re going to tell me Apple didn’t invent the concept of Datacenters. Pfft! Puhlease. Just wait for the next keynote. You’ll see. Steve will tell you how his engineers invented Datacenters, and how they’ve never been done before, and how magical it is. (seriously, there will be Unicorns grazing to keep the grass low). Okay, I went a bit overboard with the sarcasm.
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  • North Carolina cities mobilize against anti-muni broadband bill.
    That’s how you do it! Screw big telco and their ‘extreme’ broadband speeds for unspeakable cost. If a city wants to implement high speed access for it’s residents, it should be allowed to and not blocked by monopolistic corporations pushing through bills on the State level who both keep the price too high and the speed too low. fuck it. I know I can get faster for cheaper. If you won’t give me something worth it, I’ll take the semi-free alternative (paid for by taxes) in my area. Put up or shut up, telcos.
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  • iPad Sales cause US PC market to dive.
    Apple and Toshiba are the only winners in this particular game. Everyone else dived. Asus has been massacred. I guess Tablets really are a new paradigm.
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  • New Nintendo Console will be more powerful than the current generation consoles?
    I can buy that. Why not? It won’t be that hard. The current consoles are at least 5 years old. The 360 and PS3 are woefully underpowered compared to the capabilities of the technology at the current price point. So that won’t be hard. Microsoft seems to be gunning for 2015 for the new Xbox, but I have doubts that they would wait that long. Even Sony is ramping up, and I don’t understand why they wouldn’t have already been planning, preparing and designing (doing R&D) for the next gen after all this time. We already know that the life-cycle of the current gen was supposed to be 5 years when it was first released.

Star Trek: TNG XXX Parody Trailer

2 thoughts on “Noisecast Roundup 4-14-2011: Eyes made of stone

    1. I certainly hope it’s not because you don’t blink and your balls drag you to the bottom when you try to swim.

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