Is Your House Zombie-Proof? What About the Daywalker?

This house while clearly zombie-proof, is silly because zombies don’t exist. What does exist are vampires. No, they don’t sparkle. They just put out all these stories about silly sparkly vampires so that you’re thrown off the trail. They’ve been selling these falsehoods about themselves since before Bram Stoker so that when you find them you don’t know how to kill them. You’re using stakes and crosses and holy water and garlic instead of Cher’s music and Bear Grylls’s urine (which you drink to have the strength to take on a vampire in hand-to-hand combat).

Gee… I went on a tangent there… My point is that, sure, this house is zombie-proof, but it’s also the perfect mansion for the wealthy Vampire who already has everything. During the night it becomes a wide open villa.

Orgy at Dracula’s crib, what what!

But when the sun is shining, it becomes the most luxurious coffin on the planet. Deacon Frost, eat your heart out.

No bueno for property values, unless this is a neighborhood of vampires. (more common than you realize. It’s called a suburb).

If Zombies want to get fresh, well, that’s covered too. However, I’m pretty sure the vampires are more worried about Blade, the Daywalker. (Or will be when he gets out of prison for tax evasion). See the full gallery after the jump.

Source: All That Is Interesting

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