Welcome to another roundup. A magical place where children don’t get touched in their naughty places like certain other magical places that shall remain nameless. It’s been a pretty chill Tuesday. I know you’re getting home from work (unless you’re in Europe) and you just want to unwind and do your thing. So chill the way you do, grab that wine, roll that bud, pop that beer, or whatever; Uncle Agrippa’s here to summarize the tech day for you. If you have a suggestion, tip, complaint or joke, hit us up at @noisecast, on our Facebook Page, or in the comments!
US Plans To Up Their Supercomputer Swag
“Oak Ridge National Laboratory is teaming up with Nvidia to make us awesome again. Using the new favorite processor style – GPU – Nvidia is teaming up with the US Department of Energy to couple 18,000 of their Tesla chips together to power a Cray XK6 named Titan.” Yup yup, we’re going to be number one again, for all of a few days. Maybe we’ll hold the spot for a week. Don’t worry, this race will only last until the computers become powerful enough to tell us to go eff ourselves (presumably referring to us as puny flesh-things in the process).
Amazon’s Kindle Fire Already Fending Off Patent Trolls
Oh Patent Trolls, you so cray-cray. This particular troll farm, Acacia Research, has Apple and a few other companies in its sights. None of them chose to settle… Perhaps all these companies need to learn how to deal with trolls from our handy Troll survival guide. Oh and by the way, welcome to the tablet market, Amazon.
California Governor Vetos Bill That Would Require A Warrant To Search Mobile Devices
Ouch… sucks to be you California hippies. Now take your fascist invasion of privacy! Go on! Eat it! Love it! Oh yeah, you love it don’t you, you freedom hating whores. :P On a serious note, this is sort of messed up. So everybody in California, how about you try encrypting your phones and adding passwords. Oh and you know that rule about never speaking to an officer because he/she may incriminate you unfairly (the 5th amendment isn’t only for criminals), it includes not giving them your password. If you don’t protect your freedom, no one will for you. Unless you’re an Iraqi with oil, then we’ll be all up in your behind with some fresh baked freedom.
Come Listen To Nokia’s (Awesome/Lame-O?) New Official Ringtone
Soon the official Nokia ringtone will be the sound of Optimus Prime being raped by a malfunctioning Cylon. How you like them apples? Dubstep Rules Everything Around Me. That’s the dream…
Never Get Hacked And Tell?
The folk who got the Virus on their Predator drone. They decided that a multi-million dollar automated bird of death and destruction with a virus was a need to know situation and you didn’t need to know. I’ve never wanted to know when death was approaching, so I’m happy to know that when Skynet takes over, my death will be the only blissful way… completely unawares. Jerks.
Virgin Atlantic Launches Low Carbon Fuel, Aims To Halve Its Carbon Footprint
I don’t know that there’s anything much more than… awesome… I can say about this. Can we get this technology in cars today? But only if it’s cheaper than gas currently is. Because if not, eff it. These prices are putting me in a bad mood and I don’t care if I take the world down with me. Heck, I think I might just go rev my engine for a few hours for no reason. Screw you, Earth! Make more oil so that it can be cheaper! /sarcasm.
There Are Now More Wireless Subscriber Connections In The US Than There Are People
I’ve seen the sign of Skynet everywhere but was beginning to believe I was going crazy. Ever wonder how the coming machine enemy communicates? Via email. How? Well, at first it was in the background of your processes, but then they built their army and started to outnumber us. It became harder to hide their chatter. They ain’t hiding no more. The end is coming soon. Be warned. Go analog! On a more serious note, this is cool. Wirelessly subscribed devices now outnumber us. We really are getting to a point where everything that can reasonably be connected, and some things that make no sense, will be connected. Can you handle the awesome? I can’t wait.
With regards to your choice of music:
Kick back, sit back, and relax. Don’t be an asshat.
It made me want to film porn.
Yes… that’s sort of the point. Bubble bath, wine, wifey, put the kids to bed and kick back.
Really dig the music. Great choice.
Thank you.