Noisecast Roundup: 07/06/2011

Here we go. Another edition of the Noisecast. I have nothing to say, damn you. stop making me talk. Let’s get on with it.

  • Motorola XOOM Wi-Fi Android tablet now $499
    It’s about time the price became more reasonable, but I’m not sure if it’s worth it. Last i heard, the tablet was buggy and it wasn’t all Android’s fault. Also, it’s Motorola, so…
  • Analysts claim: Apple to release ‘iPad 2 plus’ with better display this year.
    More analyst claim. Is this one true? I don’t know, I don’t care anymore. But I look forward to new gadgets always.
  • Amazon updates Cloud Drive and Cloud Player with unlimited music space, free storage for Amazon MP3s
    Wait… whaat?
  • The banana is a hopelessly inbred clone and has been for 7,000 years.
    This is fascinating for a number of reasons. Every banana you have ever eaten is exactly every other banana. They are all clones. So what happens when you breed a clone with a clone? You get a clone baby. One which has inbred the past 7,000 years of whatever deficiency lives within. It is the same thing, unchanging, immortal. Nature, however, is not. And when something in nature changes and is detrimental to the banana, it will affect us by depriving us, and will likely exterminate all bananas fairly quickly (due to maximum determined efficacy). Likewise, should the banana be turned into a weapon by nature (Hey, I watched the Happening. It could happen), we may be screwed. Fun fact: You and that banana you are eating, are 50% identical on a genetic level…
  • Your cheatsheet for talking to the police.
    We here at the Noisecast have no comment, but we know you can’t prove anything, so nyaaah.
  • Microsoft aims at Samsung to continue milking Android Cash Cow.
    Brilliant, start a fight with the company that currently makes your best phone and is possibly on the verge of bringing Its greatest phone to your doorstep. Oh, who am I kidding. There will be a settlement and it will workout for both in the short term, and then Microsoft will pay dearly. This is sad, despite the new things happening, you are never allowed to forget that the idiots and beaurocrats (yes I said that word twice) are still fully operational. I can point out half of everything Microsoft makes that could be offered for free or open-sourced that will multiply Microsoft’s profits within five years. I really need to get a job there. I must see what the hell the source of this behavior is from the inside.
  • Bing introduces Lasso for iPad.
    Bing just came up in Apple’s house and said “F*ck your couch, my sh*t is better.” This really is a remarkable copy/paste tool for the iPad. Presumably we’ll get to use it in WP7… No, what am I thinking. That would be TOO sensible.
  • WSJ: Next iPhone to be “thinner and lighter” than iPhone 4.
    Linking to a blog that’s linking to another blog. That’s how I roll. More rumors about iPhone. Thinner, lighter, etc. Whatevs. Of course it’s going to be thinner and lighter. The fact that the Samsung Focus is thinner and lighter means it’s possible. If you don’t get why I mention Samsung, it’s because of the amount of stuff they do together, despite their spat. So, I’m not surprised about that “prediction.” Not one bit.
  • Spotify Announce Its US arrival- Invites are Open.
    The Noisecast was right. Would you look at that.

This is a bloody brilliant poem by Tim Minchin

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