Apple announces WWDC menu, media shocked

Oh my gawd, Apple just did the unthinkable! It revealed the products and services to be announced at WWDC 2011 ahead of time! What kind of reverse psychology is this? Apple has been known to be extremely strict about announcing something new, usually waiting until the time of announcement before even confirming rumors that have been making their way around the intertubes. Yet here we are, about a week away from Worldwide Developers Conference in San Francisco, the annual Apple developer conference scheduled for June 6 through June 10, and Apple is spilling the beans. Has Steve Jobs lost his mind? Is Apple adopting a new hipster mentality? What is this voodoo magic?

Apple is planning on unveiling iOS 5, Mac OSX Lion, and iCloud, a cloud music service similar to Google’s cloud storage and Amazon’s Cloud Player. It is kind of absurd how far people are taking this announcement. Some speculate that this might mean one of two things: 1) the products are so unbelievably awesome that Apple is being forced to release some info ahead of time in order to allow for Steve Jobs to cover the insane amount of orgasmic manzana deliciousness in his keynote, or 2) these services are pretty lame and not worth the hype and speculation surrounding them.

Did anyone consider option 3? It’s entirely possible that Apple has grown to the point where it doesn’t need some ridiculous hype machine shrouded in secrecy to build awareness about its upcoming products and services and that the shift is no longer on those products and services but on the features they offer. In fact, Lion, iOS 5, and iCloud are not all that gaspworthy and secret. We have known about Lion for many months know and know that it was pegged for a summer release, so no shocker that Lion will be a topic at WWDC. iOS 5 is also a given because let’s face it, Apple keeps a strict schedule of giving its mobile platform a spruce-up every summer, often before the next incarnation of the iPhone is released. As far as iCloud goes, not only is it one of the worst kept secrets in Cupertino, but it is absurd to think that Apple wouldn’t announce such a service at WWDC and let Amazon and Google enjoy a comfy head start in a market that Apple has no choice but to enter.

“OMG, but why didn’t Apple wait until WWDC to announce them to thunderous applause and praises of being magical pioneers,” you ask? Maybe because the story isn’t about what is being announced, but about the features that are coming inside these products and services. Lion is the next version of Mac OSX, its desktop operating system. iOS 5 is the next version of Apples mobile operating system. iCloud is an extension of iTunes that is allowing Apple to enter into an emerging market that Apple’s competitors are already in. Not one of these things is something unexpected. Not one of these things is titled “Magical Time Traveling Fellatiator.” The focus isn’t on the products because the products and services themselves are givens. They are “same-old same-olds.” The focus is on the features that these products and services are offering.

So yes, Apple has told us what’s coming up at WWDC. However, they’ve really told us nothing at all. Go ahead, go bananas over the fact that Apple did something out of the norm. You’re exactly the reason options 1 and 2 above exist. Steve Jobs could come out tomorrow and say “iFolio, our new computer line is coming out in October” and people will go crazy over whether or not Apple is killing off one of its product lines instead of what it is that iFolio has to offer. So yes, I Mad, Bro. But not at Apple. I’m mad at people who instead of fueling Apple’s hype machine with insightful and reasonable thoughts and comments, they are fueling it with inane blather about topics that would make a fifth grader cringe.

7 thoughts on “Apple announces WWDC menu, media shocked”

  1. At this point the secrecy preceding WWDC events didn’t mean anything anymore. The rumor mill and information leaks starting meshing together to such a degree that people already had an inkling of awareness about what Apple was going to be released.

    “OH they released the new iWalletdrain 5! I totally called it”

    Because everyone did. 

    But the thing I really appreciate, what many don’t seem to give Apple credit for, is that they’re timely with all of their releases. Even if they give away their secrets before the big reveal, the fact that the product is available within maybe a week or so of the official announcement is what keeps the fanfare going anyway.

    1. You’re exactly right. They usually don’t make a product reveal until it’s ready to launch within a few days. I am just extremely annoyed at all the articles I’ve read today that make Apple’s decision to announce the topics to be some big cataclysmic ordeal. I also wrote that entire article on the train on my phone, so it totally felt like it was much longer than this.

  2. “Did anyone consider…that Apple has grown to the point where it doesn’t need some ridiculous hype machine shrouded in secrecy to build awareness about its upcoming products and services.”

    No. I guarantee you no one thought that at all. Ever. Not once.

    Also, claiming the announcement is “not about the service, but about the features” is a little like saying that car isn’t about the wheels, it’s about the engine. It…kinda makes no sense. Both are important and we know nothing about either. Despite your claims that “iCloud is a music service”, we really have little actual evidence besides a BusinessWeek report that iCloud has anything to do with music, much less that it is limited to solely music. In fact, given Apple’s general behind-the-times position when it comes to anything cloud-based, as well as the relative mediocrity of the MobileMe service (not to mention that MobileMe is, itself, a reincarnation of a reincarnation of a cloud service), it’s far more likely that “iCloud” is a blanket term for a variety of services that includes but is not limited to a music service.

    Yet, you claim the speculation is unfounded.

    For what it’s worth, I don’t disagree that the news that Apple is going to be discussing Lion or iOS 5 is entirely unsurprising. Apple has explicitly said as much before, so this isn’t “confirmation” of that aspect at all. However, the “iCloud” term is new and it is noteworthy, and perhaps most of all, it is open to interpretation and hype. Even if Apple does nothing but release a music streaming service (my gut says this is not the full extent of the iCloud, but notwithstanding), that’s a huge upset to the current model driven by the single biggest distributor of digital music. It’s worth talking about.

    Not for nothing, but I think you’re a little too quick to deem everyone else idiots.

    1. You pretty much just summed up my point. We don’t know what iCloud’s features are, we just know that iCloud is coming. Hence why the focus is primarily on the features that iCloud has to offer. Therefore, it doesn’t matter if Apple announced that the topic early. Furthermore, I am not calling everyone an idiot. I am pointing out how ridiculous the claims of options 1 and 2 are. In fact, I go on to say that instead of getting bent on those two points, we should focus our attention on what iCloud, iOS 5, and Lion will offer.

      tl;dr, you pretty much just wrote what I did right back at me.

        1. I know I’m the dumbest guy in the room (unless Kevlar is here hehehe), but it really does seem like you said what he said. He was being snarky and sarcastic, but I read your comment and thought, “why is he disagreeing by making the same points?” *shrugs* whatevs.

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