Look, I sympathize with those of you still in school. I’m happily done, but I won’t laugh at you. I’ll probably be back shortly to rustle up that PhD or another Masters, so I have to be careful with karma. Like many of you, at least the adult members, I’ve been at the school thing for a long time. Like many of you, I’ve forgotten more than should be healthy. In fact, it’s a miracle that any of us know as much as we do about anything, given what a small fraction it is, of what we’ve learned.

This is not to say I was a bad student. I was a good student. I just learned at a different pace, a faster pace than my peers. This meant if I was forced to slow down and go at the normal pace (often), I would be bored out of my wits. I was notorious for what people mistook as half-assing, but was really frustration. That’s not the point. The point is how was I able to absorb more information in less time than most? I had and have a specific method for teaching myself new material, but I want to focus on how I use textbooks.

Ah, the textbook. The second greatest con ever committed on mankind, the first being the Diamond. A worthless rock that’s been manipulated into “rarity” and brainwashed generations of women to believe the man’s profession of love was worthless without a diamond attached. Every semester we pay hundreds or thousands for the damn things. Every few semesters they become worthless because a new edition comes out. This new edition has no difference except a few updated current events and some new questions at the end of the chapter. The textbook has become, with the general cost of education, the greatest indication of what’s wrong with the school system today. So how do we make this thing our bitch? I use the Grip n’ Dip method, named after a sexual move that was named after me.

STEP 1

Know your subject: Some subjects require little more than a perfunctory glance. Even the professors realize it’s a hustle and only assign the book because it’s mandatory. You may never open the book. Other subjects are impossible to use with my method alone. They require brute-force cognition, excessive memorization, and endless repetition. Some examples of this would be computer programming books. My method will help but not get you all the way (well, it comes down to semantics and words like practice vs. problem-solve). For the rest, my method will do the job.

STEP 2

Scheduling: Alright, so you think this subject will benefit from my method (Yes you do. All subjects benefit at least somewhat. Chances are, if you’re reading this, you’re not in a subject that won’t benefit). You have lots of raw information to process, lots of concepts to link in your mind. You’re ready to start. The next thing you need is a schedule. You can use the syllabus (cover whatever chapter when it will be covered in class). You can also do what I did since I had my own pace, create your own schedule. I prefer to keep it fluid because some chapters will require a bit more leg work than others, and whatever your personal pace is, you still need to sync up with the class. Whatever you do, whenever you’re ready to sit down to the text book, it should always happen before and not after sleep. Sleep is an important piece of the puzzle. What I mean is, you can study whenever, but not when you’ve just woken up. At least not without first warming up. Speaking of sleep, in general, get more of it.

STEP 3

Book Expectations: Now you know when you can hit the book and more importantly by when you HAVE to (let’s face it, you’ll leave it till the last minute). The next step is to understand what you’re expected to understand by the time you’re done. You may have an idea in your head what you should be able to do, but understanding what the publisher or professor intends will help you understand the way the book is laid out. You will need to read two things, the syllabus (where most professors write their expectations for the semester) and the intro/prologue of the book. No need for all of it, just the part that explains the author’s intentions. Make sure you understand this information.

STEP 4

Introduction: Let’s truly begin. These are the steps for each chapter. You will need a paper, laptop, or anything with which to record some fairly basic information. For each chapter you will first read the chapter synopsis. This is the part at the beginning of each chapter that tells you what you should have learned by the end of the chapter. Write this down. Make sure you understand what it is you should be taking away from this chapter. Reword it if you must. Be perfectly clear on the objective. Then read the introduction.

STEP 5

Flit: In most textbooks, throughout the chapters there are highlighted texts, text in bold, definitions in the margins, points of information, etc. You’re going to need to trust your brain to be able to create context.

1. Read the subheadings. Add those to the place where you wrote down the expectation for the chapter. Reading from the expectation down through the subheadings, a narrative should begin to emerge. (It helps to think of the chapter as telling a story, with the chapter expectations being the destination).
2. Double back to the beginning and read the subheadings, but this time also read the highlighted parts. That means all the things in bold or italics. Don’t bother with writing in the margins or highlighting text just yet. The publisher has already highlighted what you needed for the most part. We will get to that later. Now add the highlights under the appropriate subheadings to further this conceptual narrative.
3. Bonus: If this is the sort of subject that has formulae, you will be adding them to the notes with a specific definition or explanation of the type of problem it solves.
4. If it is a book or chapter with definitions in the side margins, you can now double back to add those definitions to your notes. I would prefer that you separate them and create a different definition databank.