Noisecast Roundup 04-12-2011: If it bleeds we can kill it

Man, what a morbid day it was in the tech industry today! So morbid that both Agrippa and Kevlar opted to curl up in the fetal position in a dark corner of their rooms and sob softly instead of doing tonight’s Noisestash Roundup. Fear not, readers, I shall guide you through this dark and bloody evening, starting off with a fitting theme song for today:

So onward to today’s news, starting with today’s RIPs after the jump.

You probably have heard of Rockmelt, but have you heard of a similar browser called Flock? If not, don’t worry, Zynga hired away all of its engineers so you won’t be hearing about it any more.

By the way, if you’re reading this sitting down, you’ve got a first class ticket for a heart attack.

The Flip cam held so much promise, until those pesky smartphones with integrated 720p video recording got in the way. So pesky revolutionary and magical those new devices were that Cisco didn’t even bother selling its flip business, opting to kill it off completely.

More heads roll at AOLHuffPo as both Switched and DownloadSquad are nixed. Interesting how they consider Engadget, TUAW, Joystiq, and even HuffPo Tech (wtf?) as the best places to go for tech news, but leave out TechCrunch. Michael Arrington must have rubbed a lot of people the wrong way (both sexually and professionally).

But AOLHuffPo isn’t getting away scot-free, as former unpaid bloggers are suing HuffPo for…not paying them. Fortunately, none of The Noisecast staff dare do such a thing because they fear that Vitto will shit on their truck.

At least Huffington isn’t having half of her empire threatened by some convicted felon, like Zuckerberg is being threatened with Facebook.

Kevlar seems to have written up a review on the business oriented social application Convofy, but if you look closely you will see that it is all about Ron’s vagina.

I’m pretty sure Benguin and Ron are currently in the process of writing “U Mad?” comments via their iOS devices on O.C. Entertainment’s rant regarding Android.

That doesn’t mean they aren’t a tiny bit jellz of the HTC Sensation 4G that’s coming this summer.

Dick Durbin is an awesome name. It’s a bottomless pool of dick joke material. At least he’s living up to his name with his internet sales tax proposal.

Tired of Internet Explorer 9 after only 29 days? Don’t worry, Microsoft figured you would be which is why it demoed a preview build of Internet Explorer 10 today.

Too lazy to come up with something to tweet? Let this site do it for you! It goes through your history and intelligently hashes together a tweet based off of your past tweets.

Speaking of Twitter, what kind of Twitter user are you? The Twitter Biotch! infographic can help you figure that out.

All my exes live in Texas, and now I can finally find and stalk them once again thanks to a major security breach exposing personal info of 3.5 million of the state’s citizens.

50 years ago today Yuri Gagarin became the first man to venture into space. Check out his first speech after landing safely back on earth. Ignore the whole Soviets conquering “cosmic space as it should be done” part. Russians and Americans are friends now! =D

Since your Wii is now more or less obsolete/useless, might as well put that Wiimote into good use and make a mini robotic Segway with it. It’s a shame that a 17 year old thought of this before you did.

And lastly, your moment of sobriety: the lulz between Sony and GeoHot is now over.