I Just Took On Zombie Not-Glenn-Beck With An AK-47 And Won (And You Can Too!)

I’m not a fan of tea. As such, I’m not a fan of the Tea Party. We simply don’t relate on….wait, what? The Tea Party isn’t a group of leaf-based beverage enthusiasts? They’re actually a group of heartless, zombie-fied undead walking the earth, demanding lower taxes for the rich, ignoring scientific issues like global warming, consuming the flesh of the innocent, and giving their overlord, Zombie Glenn Beck, a TV show?!!

……Get me my shotgun.

Gaming company StarvingEyes is responsible for this gore-filled, politically-charged shoot-em-up that I can’t stop laughing at. In the game, you play as Gordon Freeman a nameless hero with a crowbar, who’s out for blood as he (or she!) defends the world from right-wing legions of brain-eaters. You’re periodically given weapons along the way. There’s even a “Meet The Zombies” feature that will take you on a guided tour of your favorite soon-to-be-bullet-riddled political pundits.

The game itself is actually pretty crappy, as far as internet games go. The controls are clunky, the movement is difficult, and the gameplay is remarkably straight-forward with little to think about. Of course, who wants a challenge when you can just laugh your ass off at the “Palin and Bachman banshees”.

The game is actually a mature and level-headed commentary on the political climate these days. The decaying flesh of the zombies represents the outdated and broken political system that’s failed to keep up with modern problems. The shotguns represent over-compensating and ineffective solutions that only make the situation messier, often paid for in blood. While the uncontrollable, screaming Glenn Beck monster represents….well….Glenn Beck. It’s also the most fun you’ll have killing zombies this week.

If you’re easily offended by obviously slanted and kinda unnerving amounts of violence towards virtual representations of real people whom one might disagree with but still not wish to come to harm, this game might not be for you. If you like laughing at people getting blowed up in Dark Forces-era graphics, play this game. Now. Or else.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go finish laughing at “Pissed Off Stupid White Trash Redneck Birther Zombie”.

Sources: Tea Party Zombies Must Die, via CBS News

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