It’s that time of the year again where Lagomorphs attack. Considering how evolved and superior homo sapiens are to Lagomorphs, we still fall victim to their unchanged battle tactics year after year. They invade our society by influencing our young offspring and force the adults to spend copious amounts of monetary units in order to buy into the biggest scam to ever hit North America. That’s right, I’m talking about those chocolate eggs with that cream filling. For some reason even the smartest of our ranks fall victim to the absurd claim that Lagomorphs lay cream filled chocolate eggs and purchase them in cartons. Meanwhile, the Lagomorph overlords bathe in their new-found riches…riches which are enough to allow them to survive lavishly for an entire year. Yet every year we continue to be duped by them, sometimes even allowing our children to approach them for pictures! Next time a Lagomorph approaches your child, think to yourself, “do I want my sweet, innocent young child to be corrupted by such a vile and racist creature?” That’s right, racist. Apparently Lagomorphs go to extreme lengths this time of the year to eliminate all of their colored brethren and allow only the white ones to survive. We must put an end to this madness. The line must be drawn here!
- In other news, the U.S. Army chose Android as its development platform for its first smartphone
This isn’t a blow or a snub to Apple as much as it is to RIM. RIM was the big mobile player when it came to enterprise systems. Losing out to BlackBerry should serve as another wake up call for RIM. Heh, riiiiiight.
- The world’s brightest beam
That record now belongs to the Large Hardon Hadron Collider. The higher intensity beam means that many more proton impacts take place in the 17-mile track, increasing the probability of finding the God particle. Whether we find the God particle by mashing protons inside the track or by creating a black hole that swallows up the earth is currently unknown.
- AT&T wasn’t ready for the iPhone
So AT&T data volumes jumped 8,000% between 2007 and 2010. I can understand being caught off guard for the first year. I can understand trying to play catchup in the second and third year. But fuck man, it’s 2011 and AT&T still isn’t ready for the iPhone, let alone “4G.”
- The Scion FR-S concept looks bad ass
Too bad it will look like a Scion when it gets released.
- Who said Supreme Court justices didn’t have a sense of humor?
Even though Clarence Thomas hasn’t said a single word in court since 1776, other justices are full of interesting quips, especially during cases that are so absurd but legal enough to have reached the Supreme Court in the first place.
With that, I shall briefly return to my original point before leaving you this evening: Lagomorphs are fucking evil. Just watch the video below for proof that they are spawns of Satan with superpowers.
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