{"id":3794,"date":"2011-03-30T12:30:27","date_gmt":"2011-03-30T17:30:27","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/?p=3794"},"modified":"2023-12-03T21:02:31","modified_gmt":"2023-12-04T03:02:31","slug":"girp-from-the-evil-mastermind-that-brought-us-qwop","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/2011\/03\/girp-from-the-evil-mastermind-that-brought-us-qwop\/","title":{"rendered":"GIRP: from the evil mastermind that brought us QWOP"},"content":{"rendered":"\n

By now we’ve all heard of QWOP, the game in which you take control of the world’s most incompetent sprinter. Nothing in the history of man has ever been so infuriating, while at the same time hilarious. Chances are you’ve spent some time swearing at your own computer screen, trying in vain to get that little guy to work his damn legs properly; I’m convinced QWOP wasn’t designed as a game, but rather an experiment to create new profanity.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
MOTHERFUCKING DICK CRACKERS.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n\n\n\n\n

Well, Foddy is at it again. GIRP is the spiritual successor to QWOP, featuring the same sort of ragdoll physics and another ridiculous control scheme. This time around you take control of a rock climber as he attempts to scale a cliff face. Littered across the precipice are rings, labeled with individual letters, that you must grab on to. When you hold that button on your keyboard, the climber will reach in that direction. Then using the left mouse button (or shift key), the climber will pull himself up, hoping to grab that next ring. At that point you’re going to want to release the first key you were holding, and aim for higher destinations.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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Push it to the limit! Walk along the razor’s edge but don’t look down, just keep your head and you’ll be finished!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

The catch is that the next letter you have to hit is usually on the opposite side of the keyboard, resulting in some funky finger gymnastics. Of course, you always have to be holding onto at least one ring or else gravity will do its thing and you’ll fall to your death. Or at least I like to think you die. It’s funnier that way.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
You’re the best around! Nothing’s gonna ever keep you down!<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Don’t think you can take your sweet ass time, either. As you ascend, the water level below you is also slowly rising. Take too long and you’ll soon find yourself submerged.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Do you ever feel not so fresh “down there?”<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Every so often a bird will be sitting on one of the rings, and must be shooed away before you can grab onto it. That bird really likes to screw up your day.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

\"\"<\/a>
Get out of here, you goddamn avian.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

GIRP is probably easier than QWOP, but that doesn’t exactly tell you much. That’s like saying it’s easier to piss into a soda bottle than shitting into it; both are still a huge pain in the ass. Of course, I’m a guitarist and I’ve got manual dexterity up the wazoo (which, coincidentally, is why the ladies love me. Oooooooooh yeah), so your mileage may vary. GIRP may very well just drive you mad.<\/p>\n\n\n\n

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I don’t think you appreciate just how hard it was to take screenshots of this game while playing.<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n\n\n\n

Limber up those fingers and give GIRP a try for yourself over at foddy.net<\/a>.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Control a rock climber as he scales a cliff face in GIRP, the spiritual successor to QWOP. It’s just as frustrating and hilarious as its predecessor.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":8,"featured_media":3798,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"site-sidebar-layout":"default","site-content-layout":"","ast-site-content-layout":"default","site-content-style":"default","site-sidebar-style":"default","ast-global-header-display":"","ast-banner-title-visibility":"","ast-main-header-display":"","ast-hfb-above-header-display":"","ast-hfb-below-header-display":"","ast-hfb-mobile-header-display":"","site-post-title":"","ast-breadcrumbs-content":"","ast-featured-img":"","footer-sml-layout":"","ast-disable-related-posts":"","theme-transparent-header-meta":"","adv-header-id-meta":"","stick-header-meta":"","header-above-stick-meta":"","header-main-stick-meta":"","header-below-stick-meta":"","astra-migrate-meta-layouts":"default","ast-page-background-enabled":"default","ast-page-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-4)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"ast-content-background-meta":{"desktop":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"tablet":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""},"mobile":{"background-color":"var(--ast-global-color-5)","background-image":"","background-repeat":"repeat","background-position":"center center","background-size":"auto","background-attachment":"scroll","background-type":"","background-media":"","overlay-type":"","overlay-color":"","overlay-opacity":"","overlay-gradient":""}},"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":""},"categories":[318],"tags":[859,862,863,277,860,861],"class_list":["post-3794","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-reviews","tag-flash-games","tag-foddy","tag-fuck-my-life","tag-games","tag-girp","tag-qwop"],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-content\/uploads\/2011\/03\/Screen-shot-2011-03-29-at-10.48.20-PM.png?fit=640%2C480&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/pelghY-Zc","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3794","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/8"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=3794"}],"version-history":[{"count":10,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3794\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":20825,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/3794\/revisions\/20825"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3798"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=3794"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=3794"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.friedyoda.com\/noisecast\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=3794"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}