Shiiiiit, what dis Wildcat biznass dey be talkin ’bout? Mo’fuckas be straight up tripping. Wildcat offense? Fuck dat shit! I ain’t playin’ no Wildcat! Imma mo’fuckin dawg, son. A dawg dat done been locked up in da pound. A muthafuckin dawgpound, son! See I had time in da pound to be philosophizing and shit. Yeah yeah, between workin’ out, drinkin’ mah grape drink, and passin’ that sticky icky with my boy T-Bone, I done did a lot of thinkin’ and shit. Continue Reading »

Jeff Brown, Vice President of Communications for Electronic Arts has sent a pissed off letter to Fox News regarding the whole Cooper Lawrence/Mass Effect fiasco. Well let me tell you this. I don’t like it. I know exactly what he’s trying to do. He’s trying to beat me into Cooper Lawrence’s pants. Not while I’m still the Harbinger of Truth, Jeffy boy! I see that lust in your eyes. You will try to lure she who is a 37 year old MILF into your expensive car to your beach side villa, and then make magnificently suave attempts to get her to call you “darling,” aren’t you? Well let me tell you something, freckle head, you’ve just declared war on the nation of Fried Yoda, and believe me, I’m served spicy! Let the best man win. And we all know who the man is in this situation! Cooper! Cooper! Come into the warmth of my embrace so we can explore Mass Effect together! Come to me!