News in the gaming industry is that Nintendo of America recently hired two new executive officers for their Redwood City, CA offices. Stepping into the President of Marketing and Corporate Affairs position is former Reebok employee Denise Kaigler. Former Whirlpool financial director Bill Van Zyll arrives as the new Director and General Manager of Latin America. Using our superior leverage in the news industry, Fried Yoda has managed to tap into a private video link between Nintendo’s head honcho Satoru Iwata in Japan and Denise and Bill in California. So here is the full uncensored transcript of the conversation, the first post of many more that will pave Fried Yoda’s way to a Pulitzer.

Satoru Iwata: Greetings from chirry Kyoto, my new friends. I wood rike to wercome the two both of you to the, ah, Nintendo famiry.

Bill Van Zyll and Denise Kaigler: Thank you sir.

Satoru: Prease, shit.

Denise: Excuse me?

Satoru: It’s ok, friends. You may both shit. You do not need to be formal with-ah me.

Bill (whispering to Denise): I think he means “sit.”

(both sit down) Continue Reading »