Deer Mackrosuft,

Next times yous shows XNA kiosx at GDC, plz use Xboxies that wurkz.

kkthxbye

Do you want to tour a major city with 325 horsepower at your disposal? Do you want to get happy feelings when you perform civic duties? Do you want to turn the tables on your childhood and make others chase the bus instead of you having to chase it every day while the crazy busdriver chanted “faster, fatboy, faster”? Well you soon will be able to fulfill these dreams with the upcoming bus simulator! Continue Reading »

Image courtesy of Kotaku

I have a marketing professor who on his first year of teaching at my university got to experience a teaching disaster. He was teaching Principals of Marketing, the introductory marketing course which lays the foundations for all future marketing courses. It was his first time teaching, so he hadn’t found the right way to teach the students the material. When the midterm was distributed, the class average was a 64. He went to his colleagues for advice, and they told him to shift his teaching strategy. Over the next week, he did exactly that. By week two, everyone was in a better mood and back on track. Except for one kid. This kid was not a business major, but a computer science major. He was so upset about his midterm grade that for three weeks (six 90 minute class periods) he spent the entire time glaring at my professor. Kind of like a look of death glare. Continue Reading »

George “Corpsegrinder” Fisher is the lead singer of the American death metal band Cannibal Corpse. He’s also a World of Warcraft player, but he’s no fucking Alliance Gnome!

Don’t need all the features in the SexBox system? The opt out for the SexBox Core System instead! It contains the bare-bones necessities to fulfill all your gaming…eh, pleasures. All for $18.

Age of Conan is being censored in Germany. They’re censoring boobs. They’re censoring decapitation. They’re censoring gore. This isn’t a surprise, considering a little over a year ago the German government was considering to pass a law that would lock you up in jail for up to a year if you killed any virtual humanoid in a video game (zombie, alien, orc, or other human model). This also isn’t a surprise since Germany is adamant on banning everything. Here’s some other things they’ve banned: Continue Reading »

What do Doom, Tomb Raider, Mortal Kombat, Super Mario Bros, and Resident Evil all have in common? No, they’re not all video games. Well, they are. But taking it a step further, they are all video games that have been made into shitty motion pictures. You probably coughed up $10 at the movie theater to watch one of these films and ended up squat humping the ticket guy in an attempt to get your money back halfway through the movie. I sure did after going to see Doom. And Tomb Raider? What the hell is the point of having Angelina Jolie play Lara Croft if there aren’t going to be any scenes with Lara Croft partaking in some steamy lesbian foreplay with some random femme baddie? Well, word just hit the internets that another successful video game franchise almost got gangraped by Hollywood. Continue Reading »

Fried Yoda has gotten it’s hands on the first draft of the letter announcing that Myst Online: Uru Live would be shut down. The officially released letter written by the VP of Content and Creative Director for GameTap, Ricardo “Dirty” Sanchez can be found here. Don’t ask how we got it. Just know that it is real. Straight from Dirty’s trash bin. Continue Reading »

Fuck you Tecmo Super Bowl! This is the last time you will let me down. I believed you! I trusted in you! You guaranteed me a win. Patriots 24, Giants 21. That’s what you said, right? RIGHT? How the fuck could you do this to me? How could you be so wrong? I bought a square. Patriots 0 Giants 4. What was the score with less than two minutes left in the Super Bowl? Patriots 14, Giants 10. I had the REVERSE! I had $1500 coming my way! You promised me the Gaytriots would win in! You promised! But where was your prediction that the Giants would perform one last drive to deliver the biggest upset in football history, Tecmo Super Bowl? Where was that? I fucking hate you. I want to let you know that I poured out the remainder of my Captain Morgan bottle on your cartridge and lit it on fire. That’s right. You’re out of my life, Tecmo Super Bowl! OUT! Never again will I listen to your shitty predictions. Never again will I take your word for a Super Bowl outcome. $1500. Gone. That would have covered my hotel room in Miami this spring break! Fuck you Tecmo Super Bowl.

On a lighter note, HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA! Fuck you Patriots! 18-1. How does that feel? Eat it Tom Brady! Eat it like you eat Wes Welker’s cock in the locker room! Fuck you Belicheat! What a perfect finish to the season. No more cocky Patriots pussies shoving their 19-0 bullshit in my face. How does the salt taste, fuckfaces? HAHAHAHA!

The creator of the popular Nintendo DS game and it’s sequels, Brain Age: Train Your Brain In Minutes A Day!, has decided to pass up on some massive royalties. Ryuta Kawashima was entitled up to $22 million, (2.4 billion Japanese yen) but decided to pass up the opportunity and donate a hefty portion of his royalties to Tohuko University so new laboratories can be built at the university’s Institute of Development, Aging and Cancer. Continue Reading »