Due to the slowness of my previous host (Dreamhost) when it comes to WordPress, I had to move this site to a more reliable host. Funny thing was that the solutions Dreamhost had on its wiki to make WordPress run at a reasonable speed wouldn’t work for me. The plugins they recommended wouldn’t install because of the server settings! Dreamhost support simply told me that my site was running ‘within normal parameters.”

Anyway, the migration worked with the exception of my theme. I had made the theme a looooong time ago, and it was designed to work with WordPress 2.6. We’re now at 2.9.2 and 3.0 is just around the corner. Granted I was running 2.9.2 with that theme before the host transfer, but it wasn’t supposed to work like that. Who knows what crazy code and loopholes the site itself exploited. The bottom line is that I gotta rework the entire theme from scratch, which shouldn’t be a huge problem considering I’m not designing something new. The only bitch is that I had built it upon Theme Toolkit, which never got updated to support WordPress beyond 2.6. Ah well, I gotta dedicate at least a full day to this. Maybe Friday so I can drink away the accumulated madness in the evening?

UPDATE 02/26/10@6:52pm: Turns out that my theme is immortal. Cache plugins seem to be the issue, being it Hyper Cache or WP SuperCache. Oh well, I can live without cache for now!

Apple disappointed the world today with its terribly named new product the iPad. With all the hype surrounding it and Apple promising that it will bring some revolutionary ways of interaction, I was expecting some Project Natal-like tech to be used in controlling this thing. But we were graced with an oversized iPod Touch and I don’t see crowds forming outside the Apple Stores nationwide for this thing. And no, I won’t tell any iPad tampon jokes since the web has exploded with them! However, I do want to touch upon an observation I made about the iPad. It’s taken me all day since its unveiling to put this to words cause it’s a bit of an abstract idea but I’ll do my best (hell, I even dictated my thoughts and recorded them to my iPhone in order to piece them all together!).

Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not a hater of the iPad. It’s just not something I’d go get and not something “magical and revolutionary” as Steve Jobs proclaimed. It does however shed some light on a potential gaming revolution that could be on the horizon. Now no gamer is gonna go snag one of these because it’s a gaming machine. But one cannot help but to think of the door that this device has opened for the industry. Imagine the next generation handheld gaming devices. What do you envision?

What if Sony, Nintendo, or Microsoft jumped onto the iPad concept and took it to a whole new level when it comes to gaming. Imagine a Microsoft iPad-esque product that has a front Natal camera. Just set the device on your lap and use your hands as guns or a steerig wheel and see the results in front of you. Imagine using gestures to go between screens, similar to Minority Report or Gamer. Juice up a thing like this with the appropriate hardware and you can be looking at a whole new gaming experience. Imagine bringing the device home only to transfer what’s happening on it’s screen to your console/TV in real time!

Apple’s focus with the iPad isn’t gaming but it does help provide inspiration and innovation into what the next generation of handheld gaming devices could be like. Sort of how mini-PCs were ahead of their time yet provided the groundwork for netbooks, the Apple iPad could be laying the groundwork for the PSP 3 or the DSi 2.

Free-IQTest.net – Accurate IQ Test

Continuing my tradition to watch all Star Trek series (in reverse chronological order) I just finished Deep Space 9 from start to finish. Aside from it being Babylon 5 in the Star Trek universe, tarnished with an overly-dramatic lead actor, and having every damn episode be some parallel to a historical event from Earth’s history, it wasn’t that bad of a show. I think all the actors fit the role perfectly except Avery Brooks as Benjamin Sisko. He would have made an awesome Sisko if he wasn’t so overly theatrical in his actions and dialogue. Every time he was on screen it was as if he was at a stage rehearsal. The way he emphasized words, the way he lifted his hand by his face and clasped three fingers together as if to emphasize a point (sort of like an upside down “mama mia” gesture)…it was all so fake. It was the most unnatural piece of acting I’ve ever seen. I have nothing against the guy, but his performance in the role was equivalent to the performance of a high school theater student.

Anyway, I think the following clip sums up the entire show. It is of Gul Dukat (who by the way was probably the best character and best performed character in the whole show. Marc Alaimo was absolutely phenomenal) doing a rant from the season 6 episode “Waltz.” Can you guess which famous historical character he is portraying?

At the very least I can say that I grew to love all characters in the show. The crew did a good job developing them (with the exception of Bashir. Midway through the series they go, “Oh, guess what, you’re genetically enhanced”) but Alexander Siddig did a good job staying true to the character all the way through. Special kudos to Armin Shimmerman for redefining the entire Ferengi race and society with his performance as Quark. Aside from that, it was a warm and fuzzy show that was loosely hashed together but set forth the future of the Trek universe with the whole Dominion/Cardassian war.

For those that don’t know, I am a manager at a nice restaurant in the Chicago burbs. It’s a place that you can have a romantic dinner at or have a few martinis at our bar. An average dinner for a customer (say he or she just gets a drink and an entree) runs about $15-$20 and that’s with plenty of food left over to take home (our portions are very generous). Think of it like a Wildfire, Morton’s, or Gibson’s type of place with better food and service but affordable prices.

Last night one of the servers came up to me and showed me one of our gift card holders with $25 handwritten on it. Inside there was no gift card. The customer at his table wanted to use that as his gift card. I told the server that we could not honor that as a gift card since there was no gift card in the holder. A minute later the server came back and told me that the customer wanted to speak with a manager.

I’m not a hardass manager. I take care of my customers. If I see that the customers are big spenders or repeats I buy them a drink or dessert. I develop somewhat of a relationship with them and they usually know me by name the next time they come in. I pulled up this customer’s check. $23.54. A burger, a wrap, and an iced tea. Lovely.

I went over to the table, always maintaining my composure and polite mannerisms. I knew this guy. He had come in here a couple times before, maybe twice in the last 6 months. I never forget faces. The man explained to me that he wanted to use the gift card holder as a $25 gift certificate. I calmly explained that I could not honor that because he needs to present the actual gift card, not the holder.

“Well this is what we received. There was no gift card in here. And the only reason we came here tonight was because of this,” the man said. Ahhhh, the first-timer story. Coupled with a meticulously thought out bill that would not exceed the amount he was expecting to be discounted. What a victim.

“I’m terribly sorry sir, but I cannot honor this because it is not a gift card. Unless you have the gift card that accompanied it, then I cannot accept it,” I reply.

“Well I never received a gift card, this is all I received! I want you to take this and that’s final!” he raised his voice.

“Again sir, I apologize but that is not something I can do. Perhaps you should contact the person who gave this to you. They might have forgotten to give you the gift card.”

“I want to talk to the owner. This is ridiculous. I come here quite often and spend a lot of money whenever I come here.” OK asshole. You’ve come twice in the last 6 months and you’ve spent enough this evening to scrape by without paying a single dime. Choke on a dick.

I call up the owner on the phone and his response is simple: “Tell him to fuck himself. No gift card, no discount.” No don’t take this the wrong way, he would never say this in front of customers. He’s a very nice guy, he just over-exaggerates things to me to prove a point. I go back to the table and tell the guy that the owner told me to take his name and number and he’d call him tomorrow (which is what in fact happens in a situation like this).

“No, I want to be satisfied NOW. I’m not paying this bill. I’m the customer, I’m right,” he demands. Customers are now looking from nearby tables. The booth next to his is stifling laughter. People aren’t dumb. They can spot a douchebag a mile away. Especially a penny pinching douchebag.

“Sir, there is nothing more I can do. I cannot overstep my bounds and disobey the owner. If you leave your contact information he will call you tomorrow and I’m sure you will be able to resolve this with him,” I say cooly, never losing my polite composure.

“Well I’ve already taken care of the server. You can take care of the bill. I’m being ripped off. You are taking advantage of me!” he shouts.

“Sir, I kindly ask that you lower your voice.”

“No, I want people to know what kind of a rip-off establishment this is. And I’m going to tell all my friends not to come here! And I’m not paying this bill either!” God I please hope you do! Especially if they’re cheap fucks like you!

“Sir, I’m afraid that if you leave without paying I will have to call the police,” I reply. Fuck you if you think you’re gonna win.

“Fine, call the police! Oh, and get me my money back from the server!”

“Sir, was the food all right?” I interrupt.

“Food was great,” he snapped.

“Was the service all right?” I asked.

“Service was excellent,” he admitted.

“Then sir I’m not sure why the server has to suffer if he did his job in a way that met your expectations?” I tried to save the server’s tip.

“Well if I suffer, everyone suffers!” he muttered. I went to the server and told him the guy wanted his tip back. The server smiled and handed me a single $1. Whoa there high roller…. I returned to the table with the dollar bill and placed it on the table. The guy yanked it and pulled out his wallet. As he opened it to put the dollar bill in a plastic card fell out. What do you know, it was one of our gift cards. The guy turned bright red as he quickly snatched it up and put it in his pocket. He silently took out a credit card and handed it to me. He quietly paid and left without saying a word.

Some people will do anything to get an extra free meal nowadays….

If it wasn’t aliens, then it was some secret government warfare experiment during the cold war. Here’s a summary from the intro blurb:

The mysterious circumstances and subsequent investigations of the hikers’ deaths have inspired much speculation. Investigations of the deaths suggest that the hikers tore open their tent from within, departing barefoot in heavy snow; while the corpses show no signs of struggle, one victim had a fractured skull, two had broken ribs, and one was missing her tongue. According to sources, the victims’ clothing contained high levels of radiation – though this was likely added at a later date, since no reference is made to it in contemporary documentation and only in later documents. Soviet investigators determined only that “a compelling unknown force” had caused the deaths, barring entry to the area for years thereafter. The causes of the accident remain unclear.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dyatlov_pass_accident

So I went under the knife on October 29 at 6:45am. I’ve never had surgery before so I was freaking out a bit. The doc briefed me, I changed unto the patient gown, and the nurses took me to the operating room. They strapped me onto the table and then the anesthesiologist put the IV in me. They started engaging me in idle conversation, probably to calm me down. Then I woke up. Seriously, I don’t remember passing out. The last thing I remember was talking to the nurses. They had told me that the anesthesia causes short term amnesia. I was in a dimly lit room sitting on a chair, my back at a 45 degree angle. Waking up was a bitch. You know that feeling when you wake up in the morning but you’re so tired you want to fall back asleep? Take that feeling and multiply it by 1000. I was floating in an out of consciousness for I don’t know how long. When I finally woke for good, I did a quick mental body check. I felt like shit. I was extremely weak (probably from all the blood I lost), my face was numb, my nose was plugged up, I had cotton mouth, and my lungs were hurting whenever I took a deep breath (probably from the breathing tube). The nurse came in and gave me some ice chips and changed the gauze on my nose.

At that point began the most miserable week of my life. The doctor had told me post-surgery that the inside of my nose was really bad. This type of surgery lasts two hours. It took him four. The inside of my septum was a mix between a bad spider web and a rough zig-zag of cartilage that had hardened over the past 10 years. The doctor had to pretty much rework the entire septum. This was probably why my face had swollen up so bad that I couldn’t even open my eyes. Rocky Balboa looked like a Top Model compared to me. The week was hell. I couldn’t sleep, I could barely eat since I could barely open my mouth. My nose was a faucet of blood. The pills weren’t doing much, except for the steroid which was making me emotional. Every hour I would pray for euthanasia or suicide. That’s how miserable. For a good week I couldn’t open my eyes. After a week I could slowly open them just a bit but everything was blurry.

Now, two weeks later I’m feeling much better. I can walk around, I have my energy and appetite back. Most of the swelling is gone, but there is still a small amount on my nose and around my eyes. My face is about 90% back to normal. Like I said, there’s still some minor swelling, and I have bruises under my eyes as well as yellow-green rings around my eyes (a sign that swelling is going down). I’m not feeling any pain except when I touch my nose. I still can’t blow it. The bleeding only stopped a few days ago, so the insides are still sensitive and raw. I can breathe out of it, and man, I can breathe GREAT! No more morning runny nose. No more sinus headaches. I feel awesome! About 4 days ago the doctor gave me the OK to shower again. For a good week and a half all I could do was wash below my neck. It felt so good to get all the filth off me. My body is still a bit dehydrated so I have some dry skin (shaving was a bitch). But I’m on my way to a full and healthy recovery. Tuesday I’m going to the doc and it’s pretty probable he will take me off of bed-rest. Hopefully he’ll lift the restriction on orgasms too, because I’m so fucking horny it’s not even funny. I’m about ready for a 10 hour fuck fest!

So what’s next? Well, for the next 6 months to a year I have to be extremely careful with my nose. Gotta make sure I don’t hit or bang it. Gotta be extra careful at bars and clubs, and I have to not piss anyone off. I probably also have to be careful when kissing. Can’t get TOO passionate during the moment. It’s a downhill battle from now on. I survived. For the next few weeks the minor physical after-effects will fade (swelling, burst blood vessels in eyes). And for the next few weeks I’m going to regain the 10 pounds I lost.

Thanks to everyone who visited me and thanks to everyone who called with well-wishes!

After one year of trying to figure out what the hell was wrong with me and another year of postponing the surgery needed to fix what I found out was wrong with me, I’m finally going under the knife on Wednesday October 29th. It’s nothing serious (although I did have to sign a waiver saying that I was aware that there is a possibility of death with this surgery). If anything this surgery is just Karma paying me back.

When I was 13 I had broken my nose in Greece. Back then in the day, before the internet, when our TV in Greece consisted of 2 over the air channels in black and white (if we were lucky, we might get a third one through the static with no audio), when kids played outside and used their imagination, it was popular for guys to initiate their transgression from child to teenager with an all out rock throwing war. Now don’t get me wrong, we weren’t some fucked up cannibals that whipped rocks at each other for laughs. It was more or less innocent. We would split into two teams, make a fort behind a rickety old wall or broken down house, and throw rocks at each other. We would hide under some wooden planks or any other obstacle we found and get a mini adrenaline rush when a rock would crash on our shelter on top of us. And we’d throw rocks back at the other side. A sure way to make someone proud of their first-grown scrotum-hair was if they got hit in the arm or leg with a rock. We’d suck in the pain and tough it out. We were becoming men. We still were stupid as hell.

Needless to say, I got hit in the nose with a rock during one of these battles. Instead of telling my parents and going to the hospital, I ran home, spent an hour and a half in the bathroom splashing cold water on my face and using 3 rolls of toilet paper, just to stop the bleeding. God knows the shit I put on the wound that I found in the medicine cabinet: disinfectant, iodine, cotton swabs, even band aids. Well, the bleeding finally stopped, thanks to all the cotton and toilet residue plugging it up. I didn’t know my nose was broken. So I never went to the hospital. And good thing I didn’t, cause my mom would have kicked my ass even more the following day if she had to take me to the hospital (Greek moms, you won’t understand them unless you’re a Greek. But it’s normal. Trust me.)

My nose healed and that was that. Until 2 years ago when I started having a runny nose every morning. Every single day I’d wake up congested with a runny nose and sneezing every so often until around noon. At first I thought it was a cold. But colds don’t last 6 months. I figured it might be allergies. I went to the doctor and he gave me the usual Nasonex and some pills. They didn’t work. I ended up getting used to the congestedness so ignored it. Then I had my first run in with sinusitis. After being rushed to the ER, they told me that it was just an infection and it would go away in a few days. It did. But I had a run in with it again during that summer. You don’t get sinusitis in the summer. I went to a different doctor. He took x-rays and saw my crooked nose (it doesn’t look crooked when you look at my face). He told me that the sinusitis was a result of a deviated septum from a broken nose. 1+1=2. I needed to get surgery to fix it.

So here I am 10 years later paying the price for a stupid fucking teenager initiation stunt. They call it “nasal reconstruction surgery” but in layman’s terms it’s a nose job. I’ve been on a pre-surgery diet this past two weeks and I haven’t shaved in a week and a half. I hate having facial hair for more than 3 days. But I had to get the itchy phase out of the way before surgery. Once I the surgery is done, I’ll be KTFO (knocked the fuck out) for a few weeks with a bruised and swollen face, plus a nose cast. For two to four weeks after surgery I won’t be able to do much, and that includes no sexual activity of any sort. Orgasms give your nose a blood rush. A month without sex? I should join a monastery…..

The healing process takes 6 months. For at least month I’m gonna be MIA. I’m not looking forward to it. I will be continuing to post here. I’ll have plenty of newfound time on my hands, so I’ll probably be posting some stories from my crazy life in general (I attract weirdos and am witness to plenty situations filled with hilarity…just the other day I saw a midget mobster, but I’ll save that for another post!).

So wish me luck. Not only on the surgery, but also on the GMAT which I’m taking the day before it!