Later this week, Xbox Live will launch new Xbox Rewards to cater to a growing market segment of gamers using the service. Recent reports suggest a growing number of pedophiles using the service, and Microsoft is striking early to please those members. Gamers, in particular young boys, will be able to exchange achievement points in return for a reward based on a match-making service.

The system was roughly outlined as follows: Young boys will be able to exchange achievement points in return for a “virtual hookup” with a pedophile gamer. The more points they spend on the service, the more psychotic, sick, and raunchy their “destined pedophile” will be. Pedophile gamers can apply via the Xbox Live website and a thorough background check will determine their level of pedophilia. Gamers purchasing pedophile rewards will then be able to rate and review their partner. These ratings will be factored into the pedophiles “pedophilia score,” allowing the pedophile to move up the ladder and gain opportunities to move up in rank.