With the recent announcement of Star Wars: The Old Republic, the newest Star Wars MMORPG based in the Knights of the Old Republic era, much speculation has been made towards the future state of Star Wars Galaxies. In a recent interview with Massively, SOE CEO John Smedley showed that he too was in the dark about this project. The future of SWG according to him is unknown. At least, that is what he wanted the fanbase to believe in that interview. Thanks to my many industry connections I’ve gotten insider info leaked to me about the future of SWG. It’s future is based entirely on an upcoming expansion slated for 2009. Details after the jump…

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The recent “official” announcement of Star Wars: The Old Republic, formerly speculated to be KOTOR Online, got me all nostalgic about Star Wars Galaxies. So I went ahead and reactivated my long dead account. I was expecting to find all my houses gone and my characters deleted. But everything was still in tact, even though there was a housing packup purge a few months back. I guess they had a feeling I’d be back after so many years so they decided to leave my stuff alone…

I’m back on Wanderhome, and to my surprise a handful of old friends still play. I’m keeping things simple. I’m back in SWG to revisit the past in a way, so it is fitting that I’m choosing my two original professions from back when I first started playing 5 years ago: Commando and Tailor. My main will be my Commando using his trusty Gnosis flamethrower from 2003 (Gnosis was the best Weaponsmith on the server back in the day. His weapons were godly, and this flamethrower was considered to be the second best the server had ever seen. Obviously all weapons were reworked with the CU and NGE, but the sentimental and historical value it carries still makes it my weapon of choice). My alt will take over my tailoring. Aparently Wanderhome was bitching about the lack of tailors for Halloween, so I came back just in time!

Place your bets on how long I’ll last before I quit. Minimum time frame is 1 week!

So Real Soccer 2009 is by far the best game ever released for the iPhone….ever. Who could have ever thought that the power of FIFA ‘08 could be harnessed into a measly little application for a touch screen, non-gaming handheld device? About 200 teams, real players, real stadiums, real everything. And the controls are ridiculously simple. The first thing I do when I wake up in the morning is grab my iPhone, crawl back into bed, and play two matches of RS09. My team of choice? Atheniakos, which is the unlicensed version of the Greek A-League team Panathinaikos. And of course, my morning is not a good one unless one of those two matches is Atheniakos vs Piraeus (the unlicenesed version of Greek A-League team and Panathinaikos rival, Olympiakos) and I demolish them 4-0 and get at least one red card taking out that bastard midfielder of theirs Djordjevic.

What’s really neat about this game is that you have a variety of Cups to compete in, including the European Cup, the UEFA Cup, the World Cup, the American Cup, the Asian Cup, and the African Cup. And if you don’t want to do those cups, they have league championships such as the English, French, Spanish, German, and Italian leagues. The sound quality is pretty good, considering it’s on an iPhone. You can even hear those screaming loud soccer chants coming from fans in the stadium. Gameplay is very easy however the controls could be a bit more responsive. I found it hard to control when quick reflexes and near-instantaneous changes in player direction were needed. If Gameloft could increase the sensetivity of the D-Pad to allow for more fluid and quicker control of the player, it would be greatly appreciated. Real Soccer 2009 is by far the best $9.99 deal out there right now. If you don’t have an iPhone, it’s available for Xbox 360, Nintendo DS, PC, Wii, and N-Gage. Everyone knows that FIFA ‘08 and Pro Evolution Soccer 2008 sucked major donkey balls. RS09 definitely is better than them. It will definitely keep me good company until FIFA ‘09 comes out, which supposedly has less suck than FIFA 08.

After spending a few weeks trolling the Star Trek Online forums, I’ve come to realize that some people there are really fucking weird… The following quote is an actual post from the forums:

ummm… let me think…. YEA!!! if i get a touch screen computer… i will definitely have an LCARS mod for it!

Don’t forget to ask to be beamed up to Masturbation Station while you’re at it. If this was Star Trek, you’d be the red shirt guy. But aside from the hardcore geekiness, there’s the hardcore virgin horniness:

Who’s the Hottest Trek Babe?

Man Argument part 1: Ezeri Dax or Jadza Dax …. Discuss

Hottest TOS babe

There isn’t a day that goes by where a debate breaks out on whose tits were firmer, Jeri Ryan’s or Jolene Blalock’s. But females are not to be intimidated by this. There’s a few threads for your personal pleasure too:

For the girls, Who´s the hottest star trek captian

There’s even one for the homosexuals:

Am I the only Gay in the Multiverse?

And one for the confused:

Who’s the hottest non-male/non-female Star Trek character?

In essence, it’s been about a month since STO was “relaunched” by Cryptic and already the fans are running out of things to talk about. They’re combing every portion of the Star Trek Universe for things to talk about, including:

How Do You Want Your Tricorder to Work?

Cryptic’s screenshots didn’t spark much discussion, except for a huge debate regarding the graphics. This game needs a jolt of content…FAST! I’m officially afraid to visit the STO forums now, thanks to al this. I advise everyone else to avoid them at all costs.

After the enormous success of this site’s first “season” of existance I’ve decided to bring it back for a second season. This time, it will have nothing to do with what it used to be about. Plain and simple, this is where I will chronicle my gaming career. So pretty much a blog about whatever I see fit regarding gaming. Hell, I might see it fit to include a visit from our good friend Satoru Iwata, you never know. Right now I just resubscribed to Lord of the Rings online after a one-year hiatus. But that won’t be the only game I’ll write about, even though it’s full of interesting stories:

Reporting news is an arduous thing. It requires a lot of time and dedication. I have neither. It’s hard enough keeping up with regular news in the game industry, it’s even harder falsifying that news in a timely fashion. So I’m going to take a slightly different approach on things. I’m keeping the funny, and removing the news. Pretty much this site will be satirical commentary and funny shit. To give you an example, two older posts on this site, this on and this one, are great examples of what this site is going to be like. In fact, this site got a bit sidetracked, because that was the original vision. And yes, the original vision was to get sued for slander and libel. Stay tuned. More content. Less news.

Everyone knows that gamers don’t get laid. But what happens when a gamer pays a prostitute $75 for a quickie? He gets Herpes. Visit Game-Nerds.net and get the same end result while saving yourself $75.

Gibson guitars is suing Wal-Mart and every other company affiliated with the production and sale of Guitar Hero 3. In the meantime, Fender is talking about designing a Guitar Hero 4 Stratocaster. It seems like anything with the Gibson name is prone to making stupid decisions, whether it be suing companies for creating a guitar to going on a tirade of drunken Antisemitism.

…rich fanboys. Why spend $4000 on a Crystal-iced Wii when you can get a first class blow job from Ashley Alexandra Dupré? Eliot Spitzer did it…